Ep. 25 – How To Overcome Obstacles When Buying Your First Home 

 October 15, 2019

HBH 25 | Overcome Obstacles In Buying

Buying a home already has a lot of surprises on its own. How much more when it is your first time to do so? No home buyers, especially first-timers, are exempt from having to face hiccups in their home-buying journey. Fortunately, the How to Buy a Home Guy, David Sidoni, is here to help you overcome the obstacles coming your way. He digs deep in this episode into what to expect, what NOT to expect, and how to handle the difficult situations that may come up when you are trying to buy your first home.

How To Overcome Obstacles When Buying Your First Home

What To Do When Things Go Wrong When You’re Trying To Buy Your First Home

If you totally prepare when you’re getting ready to buy your home, is that going to ensure that you’re going to have a smooth contract, an escrow period? No, dream on. Escrows and buying contract periods are like life. You can prepare all you want, but lots of things are out of your control. Let’s talk about it.

I’m back after a little bit of an extended absence. I understand that shows live in eternity and if you’re bingeing these episodes sometime in the future, then that doesn’t make any sense to you because you went from episode 24 to 25 without a break. No time has passed. For those of you living in the now, living in the moment, if you’ve been missing me and you’ve been reading the blog in chronological real-time, you might’ve been wondering where I’ve been. First of all, I did not give up on my mission to treat you, first-time buy home buyers, with the respect that you deserve. I did not decide to change everything up, I decide to screw it.
I’m going to be like the rest of the real estate industry and put all of my efforts into begging people to let me sell their homes. That way, sucker buyers like you are going to come crawling to my listing, come to my doorstep and then I can screw you over. A listing agent, they’re going to tilt all the negotiations to the seller because that’s the person who hired them in the first place. They’re the only real clients that most people in the real estate industry care about. I had a pretty serious family emergency. It’s a hell of a story. I will segue from my horror story and we’ll discuss how you can overcome obstacles when you’re trying to buy a home. This is going to be very important information for you.
I have to thank each and every one of you out there reading this. Thank you so much to the readers out there. I started this show to see if I could help people that were being ignored. It turns out that the answer is a resounding yes. Lots of folks feel ignored. While I’ve been away taking care of my family, the response to the show has been astounding. It’s been flabbergasting. It’s been mind-blowing. As of now, I’ve connected 32 readers with unicorn agents in their specific neck of the woods all over the country to help them on their journey to buy their first home. Some of them, we are not even close to buying. We’re starting at the very beginning, the planning stages, talking to people a few years out. While I was away, I had been getting three to four different readers each week that have been reaching out to me on Instagram, on Twitter even, through the Facebook page and email me directly going right to my website. They’ve been reaching out and they’ve been looking for help. Seriously, three to four a week while I was away, I’m blowing up.

Crappy 30 Days

The difference between me blowing up and some of your favorite stars blowing up is I don’t get a platinum record or a big TV deal out of this explosion. All I get is tons of rad people all across the country getting the guidance they deserve without getting the shaft from the rest of the crappy, greedy realtors who look down on you first-time buyers. Thank you and I hear you. I get it, you’re hungry. I’m dedicated to keeping this thing going. This show is going to keep rocking and keep reaching out to all you folks. It’s been a rough time here. Knowing that I had a mission to get back to you and the tons of people all across the country who are counting on me, it really helped push me through. Thanks to you. What’s the big mystery? What’s been going on? What’s been going on is I had a crappy 30 days. Let’s start where my 30 days ended. I totaled my car, got run off the road, crashed and hit a couple of different sidewalls, but I’m fine. There is no stress and no drama. My ribs hurt a lot, which is tough in my world because I like to laugh. Besides that, I’m good. Thank you, airbags.
[bctt tweet=”How you handle adversity will actually define who you are.” username=””]
How did my 30 days start? This is where it all began. At the beginning of this 30-day-period that I had, my thirteen-year-old son and my wife were attacked by a pit bull and we had a pretty scary situation. They were parked in our neighborhood and walk into our front door. There were kids playing outside and this pit bull that lives in our neighborhood, but we never see out for a walk was out for a walk that day. The person walking the pit bull lost control because he started to jump up. When he broke free, when she fell down and let go of the leash, he attacked my son. The pit bull started chomping on my son’s arm and then chomping on my son’s leg. My wife being the badass mama bear that she is, starts smacking the dog with her purse. Let’s say that pissed the dog off. He then attacked my wife, bit on the stomach really hard. She’s got lots of cutting and tearing there. Unfortunately, it jumped up on her and knocked her down. When she fell on the ground, it jumped on her chest and went to go bite her in the head. She turned her head and the dog ripped her entire left ear off. I was inside the house with my daughter. I heard the screaming and the commotion outside. We rushed to the hospital. They tried to reconnect the ear, four-and-a-half-hour surgery. It didn’t work. My wife does not have her ear.
The weird thing is what they do is when they try to reattach it, if it doesn’t attach, they need to save that cartilage in case you want to do a reconstruction, rebuild the ear later on. They need to save it someplace while the area heals. They need to save it someplace where the cartilage can grow. They stick it in your body. Sometimes they put it in your arms, sometimes they put it in your leg. These guys decided to stick it in the back of her head. Tina doesn’t have an ear, but she does have an ear inside underneath her scalp. It’s a really weird situation. Her hearing’s fine and Daniel’s fine. The bottom line is this could’ve been a heck of a lot worse. There were kids playing out there. There were three kids under three years old that was in the neighborhood twenty feet away from this dog attack. When the dog jumped on Tina’s chest, it was going for her face. This could have been her eye, could have been her cheek. It could’ve been her jugular. That could’ve been the instinctual move from the pit bull.

Expect Adversity Despite Thorough Preparation

That’s where we are. My family has been trying to figure out what we’re going to do with this and how we’re going to move forward. My wife is a being a killer trooper surviving with one ear and we’re getting ready to figure out if we’re going to reconstruct her, do a prosthetic ear. That’s where I’ve been. As I was preparing to come back to the show, I wasn’t really going to talk about this then I realized that the car crash happened exactly 30 days after the dog attack on my family. It hit me. The universe was giving me a big fat sign. Suddenly, every rough escrow that my buyers have ever been through came to my mind. Good people who prepared and sacrificed so that this gigantic endeavor would be the happy event that it should be. They did everything right. They were feeling good. That’s how I felt when my 30 days started. I changed my career a little bit and got to help you guys out. Things were going great and then life happened. I had a crazy 30 days like an escrow or a contract period. Sometimes even though most prepared buyers have a crappy escrow, no matter how much you prepare, it could end up being 30 days of sheer torture. If you don’t prepare, your odds of that are much higher and it will probably be even worse.
Sometimes even if you read this blog and you go onto my website at DavidSidoni.com and you read every single blog and you follow everything to the letter, even you follow all the lessons. Even if you save all of your cash, if you stick all your moola under your mattress and you’ve got a ton of money going into your contract period. Even if you’re the guy who makes all the sacrifices while all your friends are out spending their money going YOLO. They’re living their best lives and that you sit at home eating mac and cheese so you can watch your savings account grow so you can have a really good home buying experience.
Even if you’re a person who does reach out to me and we hook you up with a badass unicorn realtor, the magical, mythical, unbelievable, incredible combination of a real estate agent who gives a damn about you and is also experienced and knows what the hell they’re doing. They can work with the first-time buyers the rest of the industries thrown away. Even if you do all those things and you prepare and you do everything right, sometimes your contract period, your escrow period is going to be 30 days of hell. Deal with that fact. It might happen. Metaphorically, this happened to me. That was my 30 days of an escrow hell and it’s not my fault. I’ll explain to you why you need to prepare for that.

HBH 25 | Overcome Obstacles In Buying
Overcome Obstacles In Buying: Sometimes, even though most prepared buyers have a crappy escrow. No matter how much you prepare, it could end up being 30 days of just sheer torture.

First of all, I want to say that when this happens, potentially if, but possibly when it’s how you handle the adversity that makes up the character. It’s how we as human beings, how we handle adversity will define who we are. It might happen, it might not be your fault, but be ready. Why might this happen? What’s going on? Let’s say you do everything right and you prepare. You want to buy your dream home and the home that you fall in love with, maybe they’ve got a crappy listing agent or maybe the person who owns the house is clinically insane
Both of these people might have the ridiculous concepts of how a home sale is supposed to happen and then you end up with 30 days of hell. This episode’s going to be about how you can endure in case that happens to you. The most prepared person can still run into that equation. What do you do to keep your eyes on the prize and come out the other end of those 30-day nightmares? Coming out of a scary inspection, a request for repair, insane nightmare appraisal problems or maybe even you get a flood in the house two hours before you’re supposed to get the keys.
Why would I give such a specific example? That happened to some of my buyers. Two hours, the moving men took out the washer, dryer and refrigerator and they didn’t plug up the water sources to both of those. They were out of the house, the sellers are packing in their new house and we showed up and there were three inches of water in the whole house. You never know. I got an email. Our second closing is happening from our podcast audience. Nicole in Green Bay, big ups. You joined Chris and Jacqueline. Our second closing from How to Buy a Home Guy. It’s pretty exciting because I did this to help you guys plan and some of you guys who are a little further along and then you found us. Thanks to the show and a referral from me to a super rad unicorn agent in Green Bay. Kevin helped Nicole. Shout out to the unicorn network. The unicorn network is real. This is what she said to me in the email that I got.
“The highs and lows of emotions have been so extreme. I never imagine how emotionally exhausting this process would be.” In there, she’s talking about the escrow, the contract period. “Being prepared is one thing, but going through this whole process solo is a whole new world. I’m taking it day by day and excited for this to be over with.” The whole email was filled with exclamation points and happy things, but none of that was relevant to what we’re talking about. She’s very excited about buying her new house. You’ve got to know this, the drama of an escrow or a contract period, it’s real. Some of you out there might be going, “What is going on? Where’s captain positive? The guy who was always telling me, ‘You can do this.’”
As you also know, I’m always going to tell you the truth because that old saying, it’s got a ton of merit, “Only the truth shall set you free.” You demand it for me and I did that. That’s why you’re here. That’s why you read. The only way to succeed in your dreams is if you are armed with the truth. I’m always going to be transparent and give you the straight information. If you do everything right and you’re ready for what might happen, then you can handle it. Life threw me this incredible, awful curveball. I’ve got these 30 days of hell that happened to me, but my family’s moving on. My little girl likes to say there are four of us. She’s nine and she goes, “Daddy, there are four of us. Seven years, one family,” I love it. That’s us. We’re moving on.
[bctt tweet=”The only way to succeed in your dreams is if you are armed with the truth.” username=””]
Don’t get me wrong, this time sucked, but it’s time to move ahead. Let’s get to the solution side of things. What happens if you hit 30 days of hell? Get to the solution side. If you’re in your buying period when things go wrong, not if because something small will go wrong, even in the best one, it’s up to you to choose your attitude. What you focus on, what you think about all the time. This is saying what you focus on expands. What you’re thinking about all the time, it gets bigger and bigger. Garbage in, garbage out. If you’re taking in the garbage all day long and marinating and stewing on that, that’s what’s going to be your outward thinking. Take in and focus on the good parts of the process. If you’re an emotional person, then do this. Remove all the emotions and focus on the calculations and the numbers. Get back into that spreadsheet mentality and remember all the nitty-gritty numbers that helped you make this decision. If you’re analytical, then don’t focus on the numbers because you’re going to get some stuff that happens to the escrow and you’re going to put it in your spreadsheet and punch all your little numbers and you’re going to nerd out and freak out. When all the insanity of a rough contract happens to you, think bigger, think globally.

Solutions To Adversities

Think a few months from now when all this stuff is a distant memory and you’re sitting at home. If you want to picture yourself sitting at home with tons of Excel spreadsheets and a craft beer, whatever it takes. Emotional people think analytical. Analytical think emotional. Get yourself out of the negative thoughts. Don’t wallow in the problems. Everyone goes through this. You’re going to go through it and you’re going to get to the end. If you wallow in your problems, you’re going to make a bed in that swamp of misery and live in misery swamp. Focus on what you have, not what you don’t at any given moment. Focus on the end result and realize that getting there might not be fair. It might not be just, you might have to make some sacrifices and it’s up to you to decide, “Do I want to make the sacrifice to get into that dream home?” Most of the time the answer is yes.
If there’s a $50,000 problem with the roof and the plumbing, bail, but most of the time you’re going to push through. That’s the way it is when you’re buying a house from one random person. That’s a fact you need to accept now so that it’s easier to swallow later on when you’re really invested in the buying process. If you’re one of the unfortunate people to get into a deal for your dream home with that jacked up seller or the bad listing agent. One thing that my family learned in our crisis is that if you’re doing everything right, if you’re taking the right steps, if you’re on the right path in what you’re trying to do in life, people are going to notice and you won’t be alone when something wonky happens. I can’t believe the outpouring from the community. It’s been incredible for me, my wife and my kids.
People are naturally empathetic and they’re going to feel for you if you’ve been doing all the right things. They’re going to be watching you do that and if something bad happens, they’re going to feel empathetic. You get a weirdo on the other side of the deal, they’re going to feel bad for you. Good people who have done good things to get where they are like you buying a freaking home, that’s responsibility. You always get the benefit of the doubt and if you feel alone, ask for help or advice and you may find out you’re wrong. Your family, your friends, your coworkers, your unicorn realtor and your lender are all going to be on your side. Let’s get crazy. Let’s say you don’t have a solid relationship with family, your friends or your coworkers and you actually are alone.
You feeling alone going through this process, you are already my hero. You choose to do these things. You have chosen to read this blog to better yourself. You’re already so far ahead of the other people taking for granted maybe their support groups. You are not alone because I’m in awe of you and I’m here for you. If we get you a great unicorn realtor, they’re going to be able to help you get your mind right and get you through the journey. I know it’s thinking, “I don’t, but I know what you might be thinking,” or that’s the words I use to segue. Maybe you’re thinking, “What’s it sound like? Why do I sound like a motivational speaker all of a sudden? What’s with all the Tony Robbins’ mind over matter crap?” It is because too many buyers out there get into buying a home. If you’re under 40, you’ve lived a large part of your life with a smartphone in your hand. You’re used to getting everything and getting all the answers. I feel bad. I’m going to use the word, but brace for it. Sometimes younger consumers at this time are a little bit entitled. I know I used the dreaded E word. I’m a horrible old man who doesn’t understand how things work.

HBH 25 | Overcome Obstacles In Buying
Overcome Obstacles In Buying: Real estate is its own weird entity that has survived this way for years. It might blow up and it might change. The only rule is there are no rules.

First of all, if you’ve read to any blogs, you know that isn’t true, I’m the last thing from mature. I use that dreaded E word because I’m telling you this. What everyone needs to understand is real estate is its own weird entity that has survived this way for years. It might blow up, it might change, but for now, these are the rules and the rules are there are no rules. Most buyers think that buying a home has some rules. It does not. You’re used to rules. Consequences for companies who don’t follow the rules or even an individual. Let’s say there’s a regular individual guy out there selling stuff who doesn’t follow the rules. If you’re a jerk on eBay, you’re low rated and you can’t sell stuff anymore. If you’re a crappy Uber driver, you’re low rated and you can also go to Uber and go to the corporate side. What you’re used to doing and maybe you get $100 in free rides because you had such a terrible experience. That’s not how residential real estate works.
There is no corporate entity to complain to or send a nasty tweet or write a scathing review. No one gives a damn about Yelp and Google reviews for the one seller who’s selling the house. That’s not his job. You’re buying from one senseless and potentially psychotic home seller who doesn’t give two bits about you. As I like to say often, selling a home that’s a one-off sale. Do not get empowered as the consumer. If you come in with that attitude, you will fair so much better emotionally. You don’t mean a squat to that seller or the listing agent or anyone in the transaction. It’s true. It doesn’t happen all the time. Sometimes you get a great seller and buyer and it works out, but this is where it’s at.
At this point, maybe you’re wondering, “Where’s my advice? What do I do when things go crappy in my 30 days? How do I correct an inspection nightmare? What do I do if there’s a loan problem or a request for a repair battle or an appraisal super screw up? What do we do, David? That’s why I came here. How do I overcome the obstacles?” I’ve already told you and I’ve said it in a million times before and all the other episodes, hire a pro realtor. That’s how serious I am about that. They’re going to handle all the crazy issues, but you’ve got to work with a pro that cares for you and that has experience and has seen this stuff before. Not your friend who got their real estate license lately, “Wouldn’t it be fun to work together and go look at houses? It’d be so much fun.” I already told you this in this show. It’s simple. Hire a pro and then be prepared. Know the game. Know what you’re getting into.
Expect nothing because it’s one person selling one house one time and they do not have to follow any rules. Prep your mind and let your badass realtor do all the heavy lifting if something goes wrong. Think of it this way. Think about the people with the most dangerous jobs in the world. How do they do it? They train like madmen, madwomen, mad people, mad humans or whatever. They train and then they prepare their minds. When their job puts them in that actual scary, real-life danger, they don’t panic. They get super Zen and very calm and the automatic muscle memory in the response takes over. Their training takes over, but it only takes over if you’re calm. That’s what you need to do.
Go ahead, take some time. Go back and reread the middle of this episode, after the dog story. Listen to all the Tony Robbins mindset stuff. That’s your training and then you can fall back on it if things hit the fan. I am definitely not saying that psycho sellers happen to everyone. Lots of times, there’s kumbaya, there’s a love fest, there are buyers and sellers sitting down together and having wine and talking about the house. It does, that happens. The more that you understand the process and the more that you correct your mindset, the easier it’s going to be to swallow of something that doesn’t go your way. It’s all mindset during the escrow and contract period. There’s an old saying, “The most important piece of real estate in your life is the six inches between your ears.”
In my wife’s case, ear. Tina’s got one ear, but she’s alive and so is our son. That was the beginning of our 30-day journey. We could have chosen to fret about what happened to us. We could’ve wallowed in that, but we didn’t. We focused on what did not happen. We focused on how much worse it could have been and then we focused on what we had. How were we going to find ways to enjoy that moving forward? Get your mind right. Get ready. You’re here and you’re reading this blog, you’re already my hero. That means eventually your 30 days are coming. Be ready for your 30 days and be ready for whatever this world can throw at you. If you’re here, you’re on your way and you can do this.

Important Links:

This podcast was started for YOU, to demystify things for first time home buyers, and help crush the confusion. After helping first timers for over 13 years, I knew there wasn’t t a lot of clear, tangible, useable information out there on the internet, so I started this podcast. Help me spread the word to other people just like you, dying for answers. Tell your friends, family, and perhaps that random neighbor you REALLY want to move out about How to Buy a Home! A really easy way is to hit the share button and text it to your friends. Go for it, help someone out. And if you’re not already a regular listener, subscribe and get constant updates on the market. If you are a regular and learned something, help me help others – give the show a quick review in Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts, or write a review on Spotify. Let’s change the way the real estate industry treats you first time buyers, one buyer at a time, starting with you – and make sure your favorite people don’t get screwed by going into this HUGE step blind and confused. Viva la Unicorn Revolution!
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You Might Also Be Interested In:

Ep. 234 – Interview With Yadi and Victor – Dreamed Of Homeownership And Found A Way
Ep. 230 – NAR Lawsuit – The New Rules For Real Estate And How To Buy A Home – PART 1
Ep 229 – What Is A Unicorn Real Estate Team?
Ep 228 – Interview With Andrew And Melissa Who Did NOT Need 20% Down To Buy And Bought Their First Home In A Matter Of Weeks!